The Deliberate Life

Pretty Little Things

I've been thinking a lot lately. Actually, I think a lot pretty much all of the time. As I've mentioned before, I'm really focused on living my own life ... the life I'm meant to live. I went to the library Saturday and picked up a bag full of books. While there, I happened upon the self help section. I'm not one to get all new agey, but a book just seemed to hop right off the shelf and into my arms. What book was it? The Hard Questions for an Authentic Life by Susan Priver. I figure it can't hurt, right? I haven't started it yet, but I have a brand new spiral bound notebook just waiting for me to pour my heart into it.

    I've thought too much today, and don't really have a lot to say. That's a first. What I do have are a couple lovely pictures to share. A dear co-worker returned to work today after a long stay in Japan and brought back small gifts for us all. I chose this little fan. Fans like these remind me of my great-grandmother Josephine, who was never without one of her own, no matter where we were. The colors remind of one of the many house coats that she wore on a daily basis. Not a day goes by where I don't think of her, and see  that the woman I am becoming is much like the woman she was. If only I could be just like her.

Celebrate Yourself

On Tuesday at work, we gathered around for a very cherished coworker's birthday. It wasn't a party per se, just a little gathering to celebrate her special day. Kind words were uttered. I recall even thanking her for having a birthday so we could eat the delicious cupcakes made by another coworker. It was a nice five minute break from our hectic day, a perfect opportunity for expressing our thanks for the mere existence of this special lady and a moment that surely brought joy to her.
    It was after I returned to my desk that I stopped to wonder why we don't ever really celebrate ourselves. Celebrating a birthday is really quite easy; you just merely have to be alive. But it's still so wonderful that at that time, we do take the time to enjoy the fact that we are another year older. There are so many moments in life ... tough moments, that we overcome without as much as a second glance. There are also other moments, that although they seem small and trivial, we still rise above and get through them. Why don't we celebrate those? Is it wrong for me to say to myself, "Wow, Christen. That was a really stressful day, but you got through it with a smile on your face. Good for you!" and sit back with a cup of tea or a glass of ice water and just ... celebrate?
    Maybe I'm over thinking this, but maybe I'm on to something.Life is made up so many of these moments ... both good and bad ... why not celebrate?

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Looking for a good book to read: Try I Capture the Castle
Have super bad PMS cravings? Whip up some Rolo Pretzel Turtles
 

Real Life

I went to the woods because I wanted to live deliberately, to suck the marrow from the bones of life; to put to rout all that was not life, and not to come to the end of life, and discover that I had not lived.
Henry David Thoreau

There have been many times where I've felt I finally found myself. "This is it," I proudly proclaim. "This is exactly who I want to be." As life makes its many twists and turns, my ideal self has changed and evolved. Ashamedly, I must admit that there are times were whom I wanted to be centered on how I wanted others to perceive me. I wanted others to look at me and take notice of how "together" I was. I wanted to live my life for everyone else to see.
            I wanted desperately to keep an up-to-date blog that was filled with the gorgeous things I wanted to make -- all photographed beautifully, just like everyone else does. My life needed to be picture perfect. The dishes I ate off would have to be just the right level of "cuteness" and everything needed to be just so. Heaven forbid people see that Kevin and I really eat off of a cheap set of white and blue plates that were gifted to us. I became so preoccupied with this "ideal" life that I wasn't living at all.
            It wasn't until recently that I finally realized that I had to live for me -- do what I want, in the way I wanted to. Though my happiness may not stem from the normal sources, it was time to embrace it and be proud of it. It took me sitting down and actually asking myself, "What is my purpose?" to finally figure it all out.  I just want to inspire and encourage people to live a happier and simpler kind of life. But first, I need to do it myself.
            So, I begin this blog with no expectations. This is my life.  Most of the time it's certainly very pretty, but sometimes it's not. Sometimes I create things, sometimes I cook something extra tasty, but sometimes I don't, and that's okay. I don't want to live my life in hopes that it will make the perfect blog post. I want to live it for me, and I want to live it deliberately.

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The above is a picture of where I live now ... a place where I look around and realize I'm finally home.