The Best Advice You'll Ever Receive

"Instructions for living a life. Pay attention. Be astonished. Tell about it."
 —  Mary Oliver

This wonderful quote is my signature on my emails, and it's been surprising how many people have written me back just to comment on it. It really strikes a chord with people. It certainly did for me.

How many of us live our lives is nothing close to the way Mary Oliver advises. In actuality, it's more like: Go into something with exceedingly high expectations. Be disappointed. Complain about it.

That's sad, isn't it? When we place so many expectations on things (including ourselves), we're never going to be anything but disappointed. That's no life I want to live, and I realized this about a year ago, when I would overplan everything I did, and when things didn't turn out the way I had hoped and expected them to, I whined. For such a supposed "happy" person, I sure spent a lot of time unhappy and complaining.

Things changed when I allowed myself to just show up. I didn't put pressure on myself or anyone else to act a certain way, or do a certain thing. Just by showing up and letting myself live in that particular moment, I was able to notice little things that made me unexplicably happy. And wouldn't you know? I started finding that the most unplanned moments turned out to be the most astonishing?

That's the secret to being astonished. You have to let yourself be.

Comments

[Tracie~My Petite Maison]

Life is so good if you just show up,{you're more than right!}

or

Amen!

[Lisa Super]

It's wonderful that you've come to this realization on your own and in your own time. I might not of ever figured this out if I hadn't had a baby. If there's one thing having children will teach you it's that the only thing you can really plan and expect is the unexpected. I didn't believe in a Plan B and I was always trying to script everything. It was truly freeing to hold a feverish baby in my arms, kick off my shoes and tell my husband, "I guess we're not going out for New Years." and not care at all that my plans had derailed.

I still fight it though. I'm a freak about being on time for everything and this year I'm taking a que from my Aunt whose deplorably late to everything and I'm not going to sweat it anymore. Well that and I'm tired of my son asking me whose chasing us when I drive :)

[Kristine]

One of my favourite things I read last year was this post: http://www.yourcourageouslife.com/2010/10/11/guest-post-anne-carmack/

Anne Carmack said this and it resonated: "It takes balls to show up for your life. So I may think you’re rad if you are up for a bungee jump but I think you’re miraculous if you are up for today."

Thanks for passing this on. I think I needed the boost today.

[wanda miller]

i have a silly question. i keep reading and rereading the directions for submissions. there is the part that says to send cash, money order etc. for returning our artwork. how do i know how much to send? thank you for any help, wanda

[Becky Shander]

So true...about letting go of expectations and living in the moment. I attended a reading by Mary Oliver a couple of months ago. She is pure, peaceful, wise, humble...magic. And completely authentic.

[Bethany]

I seriously needed to read this today. Wonderful advice. I just discovered Mary Oliver and have really enjoyed her poetry. She's so refreshing.

[Heather Foust]

What a great post. I think I was brought up to think "Don't expect to much because you may be disappointed" I can still hear my mothers voice tell me that.(She thought she was protecting us) But I realized that it is ok to be disappointed. Live in the moment and enjoy the excitement of what you are hoping for . And if it doesn't happen then it doesn't happen and then you feel the disappointment. Instead of always missing all those good dreams and excitement. Without hope and dreams life would be sad. So Dream the Dream!

[Suzanne]

Love this quote Christen. I have noticed it on your e-mails and it makes me stop and think...and aim to be astonished!

Ciao bella,
Suzanne

[Wendy Brightbill]

i loved this quote when i saw it on your signature. so beautiful! for me, it took getting into a car accident to realize that i had to let go of all of the expectations i had placed on myself. every day, i have to remember to be kind to myself. there is so much beauty all around us, if we will only stop and pay attention.

[Colette Copeland]

I love this post, Christen. Every word resonates with me.

Thank you!

[Ellen]

I love Mary Oliver and this is such a wonderful sentiment, to leave as a lingering thought! It is nice to surprise people, make them think and put a positive spin on things!
Thank you for sharing this gem~

[nike free run]

Experience is not interesting till it begins to repeat itself, in fact, till it does that, it hardly is experience.