the deliberate life

On goals & dreams ...

I've been doing a lot of stitching lately, both literally and figuratively. With my 30th birthday in a few months, I've felt the need to get a better grip on my life and where it's heading. Stitching new ideas into place, then ripping them out if they don't seem right. That's something I love about stitching - the ability to fix things that aren't right (like those sad French knots) by ripping the stitches out and starting over again.

    Kevin and I have been talking a lot about our goals and dreams for the future. The more we talked and tossed around ideas, the less far off they started to seem. Our biggest dream? To buy a house. Living in a paycheck-to-paycheck world, the idea of being able to do so seemed just about impossible. We knew we would have to make some fairly large sacrifices, we just weren't sure what they would be. On a whim, he tossed out the idea of going down to one car. He offerred to sell his car and get a scooter for his daily commute. While watching TV one day, he had another idea: get rid of cable. We could watch what we wanted to online or through Netflix. Two ideas tossed out, they both seemed right, and so they stay. No need to rip.

    As of today, Kevin's car will be sold and he will be the owner of a cute little scooter. It doesn't seem like much, but for the two of us, it means we're that much closwer to a dream becoming a reality.

    Another goal of mine has been to re-launch my blog. A new domain. A little something that's more "me." It's something that's taken more time than I had hoped for, but a lot of life has been happening behind the scenes. Here's a little peek at the banner I've cooked up for it (though the colors are wonky and not web-safe):

Little by little. Step by step. We'll get where we need to be.

 

Oh, hi ...

The rumors aren't true. I haven't actually fallen off the face of the planet. I'm alive and kickin'. I've been busy. So busy. My new website and blog are in the works, but life has gotten in the way, as it tends to, and I'm learning to be OK with that. So, instead of waiting for my new blog to launch, I thought I'd check in over here to prove that I do exist.

My favorite artist, Sabrina Ward Harrison, says that you create what you most need. I feel like the past few months have been a true testament to that. Though no real projects have been worked on, and though I have projects left unfinished, I wouldn't say that I haven't been creating. My nights and weekends have been filled with a lot of time spent offline living life. Weekends are filled with group dinners, lawn games, and laughs. Our circle of friends has been small, but very close, and in the past several months the circle has not only strengthened, it's also grown. We have a group of friends that truly feels like family, which hasn't always been the case. Shyness and insecurities have always left me keeping people at a distance, but something in me shifted and I've been connecting a lot with people lately. So, that's what I've been creating: connections. I have no art to show for it, no real evidence at all really, just a feeling of belonging that I've never really felt before.

And maybe that's exactly what I've been needing, because the creative rut I've been in lately lifted and I picked up a blank Moleskine and worked on its cover.

And yep. That's little Christen on the cover, taken right after I was born. I've always loved my side stare that looks as if I'm already plotting and scheming. The paper scrap reads, "She's always been a girl full of hope." I think that sums me up nicely.

The Ideal Spring Bag

Perhaps the most exciting part of spring is seeing vivid colors emerge from their wintertime hibernation. The colors found in fashion are reminiscent of the flowers in bloom everywhere you look. That being said, I'm feeling the need to add some more color to my own wardrobe. And what better way than by working up this great bag by Lucy?

The yarn has been picked out, and just as soon as I press "publish" this bag will be underway. Stay tuned for the final product.

Journaling for Real

Those who have read my letters from the editor in Art Journaling know that I've been an art journaler for as long as I've been able to write. The early days were filled with doodles or elaborate letter but as I've become more immersed in the inspirational world of art journaling I've found myself becoming more and more focused on the artwork and getting it "just right." Doing this has hindered the process all together. Worrying so much about the artwork made me lose sight of the words, which to me is my main reason for art journaling. Also, feeling the need to pull out all of my materials to create a journal page left me feeling weary before I even started.

As I began my latest art journal, I threw all rules and preconceived ideas out. I'm not using paintbrushes if I don't want to. I'm squeezing the paint straight onto the page. I'm reaching into my purse to find the bits and pieces of my days to add to my journals. Most importantly, I'm letting the words in my heart come out.

This page took no more than five minutes. I had the phrase "Surprise People Daily" in my mind. While I was working on getting that phrase onto the paper, my mind jumped to Christine Mason Miller, and remembered I had this little coin envelope from her. A regular old stapler secured it to the page and I was done.

This page took just a bit longer to complete. Again, no groundbreaking painting techniques; I just used my trusty old fingertips to spread the paint around. Once again, I had words running through my mind as I worked. First, "Believe it's Real." Later that day, another set of words spoke to me. "Everything you've ever wanted for yourself you've got to believe you can have it or be it ... For what are we without our dreams?"

Neither of these pages took very long, but they were so satisfying to do. One thing I've learned is that I have to keep my soul nourished through bits of creative expression.  My life gets sorted out on my journal pages. I think most art journalers would say the same.

Be Bold

About a year ago I stumbled across Christine Mason Miller's blog and was instantly drawn to it. Her positive thoughts and her mission to seek out Ordinary Sparkling Moments (also the title of her book) spoke to my heart.

    Naturally, I was thrilled to be given the chance to work with her and am so happy to still be working with her on some upcoming projects. Her energy (even if by e-mail) is absolutely contagious and I am delighted whenever I see an e-mail come in from her.

    When I received Ordinary Sparkling Moments, Christine was nice enough to include a number of prints of her work. I've posted them around my office, in the spots where I'm most likely to look to when I need some inspiration. Placed on the back of my door, I've posted this print. It's the last thing I see each day when I leave the office and serves as a reminder to always be bold in my dreams. 

    Thank you Christine, for being a constant source of inspiration.

Thinking Back

 

“Your sister wants a black and gray scarf,” the text message from my mom read. Overjoyed that she requested something I can actually make, I instantly added that to my holiday crafting list and forgot about it. Last night, I pulled the skeins I chose for her out of my yarn bucket, grabbed my hook, and realized I hadn’t actually planned what kind of scarf I’d be making. Does she want it striped? Long? Tassels? I answered yes to all of these questions and got to work.
            As I chained, I started thinking about my sister and all we’ve been through together. Memories of pretending we were on Kids Incorporated (I was always Renee, she was always Martika) came flooding back with each stitch. I changed colors and instantly remembered the time we dressed up our little brother in a bikini top (neon yellow Body Glove, of course) and tutu. As I continued to stitch I thought of how scared I was each time she had to be rushed to the hospital because her asthma was acting up, and I remembered thanking God the time she emerged from a horrible car accident unscathed.
           The memories came rushing in and I laughed as I thought back to when I tried to help her hide a puppy in our bedroom, and laughed even harder when I remembered my mom’s face when she opened up our door to see a tiny Pug puppy sound asleep in a wading pool in the middle of our floor. With each single and double crochet, I was filled with thoughts of her and of how entwined our lives have become.
            I know that our relationship has changed now that we are older and she has children but one thing hasn’t changed: she’s still my big sister and she’s still the prettiest, coolest, and funniest girl I’ve ever known. So I hope that when she wraps this scarf around her neck, she feels the love and memories I’ve stitched into this, and overlooks the fact that I completely disregarded her request for black and gray and went with black and purple instead.
            Once a little sister, always a little sister, right?

My Faithful Friend

These days this pail of yarn doesn't stray too far from my side, like a faithful friend. I'm in crochet overload. I've been hooking 'til I can hook no more. The good news? This curlicue scarf that needs to be done by Thursday is about 30 double crochets from being finished. The bad news? I ran out of yarn. The good news? Michaels still had some in the same dye lot. Crisis averted for today.

The list of handmade gifts continues to grow, as does my list of handmade gifts for myself. For each gift I want to make, I want to make two more for myself. That scarf above? Already picked out some delicious pumpkin yarn to make one for myself. And while I was at it, I threw some more pumpkin yarn in the basket for a slouchy hat for me. If I keep this 1:2 ratio up, I'm going to look AWESOME by Christmas.

Holiday Crafting - It's a Go!

It's safe to say that holiday crafting is now officially in progress. Actually, if you count the gift I made myself, it began on Sunday. (Everyone makes themselves a gift before starting anyone else's right?). Last night I started these super easy slippers. I used some scrap yarn last week to make up a quick one to make sure I could make these and have them not look utterly handmade (with holes and split yarn and such). Good news! I can.

I plan on making a few sets of these up. They're great for any of the ladies on my gift-giving list. They work up really quickly too, which is always a plus for the gal who has grand plans for crafting and cooking and baking this season.

Is my love of green completely obvious in this picture? Green blanket? Check. Exact same green yarn used in the pattern? Check. 

Post finished? Check.

 

Art Keeps me Sane

There are times when my mind goes a mile a minute, and I truly can't think straight. My brain becomes flooded with thoughts but I'm completely unable to sort one thought from the next. And the only way to calm myself and think clearly is to paint. The other day this happened, and I was surprised at just how overcome I was with the yearning to pick up a paintbrush and just let loose. When I got home I raced to my journal.

Without any thought, I just started pulling things out and putting them down on the page. I didn't even notice when I stamped letters sideways. I let my mind do what it needed to do. And then it was all over, my mind was clear again. I was focused and I was calm.

Art offers me the sort of solace that nothing else can provide. No amount of therapy, no amount of beer or wine, no amount of screaming or crying calms me down the way art does. That's the beauty of an art journal. You can let it all out and not care what the outcome is.

Giving Perle a Whirl (ha!)

You may recall that last week I picked up some Perle cotton and the teeniest crochet hook I've ever. And I played. And swore a little. And frogged a lot. But I always had the end product in mind. And it came out just like I had hoped.

 

All I did was crochet different colored circles, attach them by a chain stitch, and joined it all with a slip stitch. So quick, so easy and so handmade.

And so happy!