the deliberate life

A Small Life

(Scenes from around the house this weekend. And yes, those ARE homemade biscuits.)

By choice, life is slow going these days, and I couldn’t be happier about that. I mentioned before that I feel like our new house has sparked some changes in me, and I really think it’s true. Not being tied to a TV has left me with extra hours in the day, and I’ve spent the extra time reading, crafting, and thinking.

    There’s one thing I’ve been thinking a lot about lately, and that’s my upcoming 30^th birthday. It’s not an age I’m dreading, despite my recent outbursts about gray hairs that seem to have popped up overnight. I’m actually looking forward to it, as I am finally beginning to feel like I have a good grasp of who I am and how I want to live my life.

    I’ve been using this milestone birthday as a way to check in with myself about life so far. This hasn’t been an easy process. It’s involved learning truths about myself that I’m not particularly proud of and trying to change those. Despite the downs, this journey has led to a few ups as well — most importantly, realizing and accepting what I want my life to be.

    I want a small life filled with great love. Ordinary days sprinkled with bits of magic throughout — that’s what I want. Even as a child, my heart was tied to my home. Now that I have a home of my own, nothing is bringing me more joy than pouring my heart into it. Crafting décor items, creating all of our food from scratch, painting small wood panels, stealing moments away to write in my journal while the house is still quiet … that’s where I’m at these days. I’ve always felt guilty for wanting such simple things out of life, but after a long talk with my dear friend Kerri, it’s a truth I’m proud to accept.

            There are times where my mind jumps to the future … visions of us living on a nice chunk of land in a small town, with me penning some truly inspiring books and Kevin working at a larger craft brewery. For now though, I’m appreciating the moment I’m in, thankful that I get to work with so many artists who feel the same way I do. Thankful that I get to help others on their own personal paths in life. Thankful for the kindred spirits who email me quick bread recipes they may have found, or instructions on making household cleaners. Thankful for those that “get me,” which maybe makes up for those who might not.  

Recently

(The view from our backyard. Pinch me.)

I can’t believe how much has happened since my post, “On Goals & Dreams.” (From two months ago! For shame!) Shortly after that post, where I shared our big dream of having our own house, a unit in another triplex owned by our landlord became available to rent. This was the unit that I had said if it ever became available that I wouldn’t hesitate to move.

            As luck would have it, the unit was available the same day our current lease was up. We went to look at it and weren’t completely sure what we wanted to do. Our current place, though one-bedroom and yard-less, was completely upgraded inside — hardwood floors, granite countertops, stainless steel appliances … the works. This other place, though larger and with a second bedroom, was definitely older inside, with carpet, dated floors and countertops in the kitchen, and a freakishly low showerhead in the bathroom. I remember when we first walked through the place, my heart dropped a little. Surely I couldn’t leave all of my modern amenities and move here. Then we walked outside to a private yard — a huge one with gorgeous grass and an orange tree. We took a few steps into the garage and became oddly excited about the washer and dryer in there. You mean we could finally do laundry without having to head over to Kevin’s parents’ house or making sure we had enough quarters? It took us all of two minutes to make the decision to move.

            We’ve been in our new place for just over a month now, and I can’t tell you how much it’s already changed the way we live. We’re spending our days outdoors instead of inside. We’re working on little house projects instead of watching TV. We’re getting to play fetch with our wee little dog, who just may love the new house even more than we do.

            The first night we spent there, we both instantly felt at home already. We knew it was the right decision to make. It’s not a house of our own, which we still want, but it’s enough for now.

 

On a side note, with that second bedroom comes my very own craft space. I've actually been cranking projects out, so expect to be seeing those very soon!)

 

The Art is Hung

We've lived in our little house for a little over two months now. Slowly, but steadily, we've been adding things to complete the look of each room. No matter how many things we added to each room (or took away), things didn't feel quite right.

For some reason we hadn't hung our small collection of prints on the wall yet. Yesterday, we pulled out the hammer, level, and nails, and got to work. After we finished, we stepped back, and the living room finally felt right.

When in doubt, hang something pretty on the wall. It changes everything.

On Living

Well, hello there! It's been a long time, hasn't it? I've found that the busier I am at work, the greater desire I have to not be on the computer at night. And, as a result of that, the old blog suffers. And that's OK. I need those "unplugged" nights and weekends. We all, do in fact. 

    My life's been so full of, well ... living ... lately. The days have been full and the nights have been packed with tasty dinners, glasses of wine, and good old belly laughs. And that's the way I like it. I'm sure to some, sitting at home is not really "living." To those people living is about daredevilesque adventures and countless days out. To me, living is about being in the present moment, and soaking in the goings-on that surround me. Being completely enraptured by a conversation, tasting something so delicious your eyes roll, laughing until you're crying ... that's living to me.

    And so I ask you, what does living look like to you?

Lessons from Abbey

 

(Yes. I think my cat should be a model.)

Our cat Abbey is a huge source of joy in our household. So much of our time at home is spent laughing at her, or pointing out for the one billionth time how cute she is. She just seems to have life figured out.

    We have another cat, Clara (who I've had for 8 years now) who is very much the typical cat. Sleep, eat, sleep, eat, repeat is her daily to-do list. Abbey is quite the opposite. She's like no cat I've ever met. She sleeps, she eats, she plays, but it's the gusto she puts into all she does that tells me she's figured out the key to life. No matter what she's doing, she goes all out. If she's playing on the back of the couch, she plays so hard she falls off. Repeatedly. If she sees any of her toys out, she pounces on them as though she hasn't seem them in ages. And whenever she lays down for a little nap, she first sighs out loud incredibly loud, like she's just played her little heart out. And maybe it's that enthusiastic approach that makes it look like she is always smiling. It's exhausting yet inspiring to watch.

    Approach everything with gusto. It's amazing what you can be taught if only you're open to it (even if it makes you sound like a crazy cat lady).

All by Hand

The Bread Bible has consumed much of our weekend. After much talk, but not quite so much follow through, we've embarked on a new, very important to us, food journey. We've begun to take great strides to support our local farmers and growers, and to cut out all processed foods from our diet. Because of our love of cooking, and our passion for food, it was a very logical step for us to take. The biggest issue, however, will be bread. At the recommendation of our good friends, Rich and Shannon, we borrowed this book from the library, and tagged just about every page. As I type, we have our first loaf of white bread rising, and a batch of butter biscuits cooling.

    It's a lot of work, but gosh, it feels good. It feels like art to me. Taking a few ingredients, combining them together in a certain way, and turning all the bits into something. Much like knitting a few stitches, or making a few strokes with a paintbrush is therapeutic, there is something in the act of mixing, kneading, and shaping that touches the soul. There's no better feeling than taking bits and pieces of almost nothing and turning into something. 

    I'm very proud of our homemade life.

A Glimpse at the Weekend

French press coffee, breakfast in bed, American-style tapas restaurant, pheasant tacos, twinkle lights, staying in, wine, tuna tartare, Juno, perfectly cooked filet mignon, homemade caramel sauce, having an extra day off ...

I love weekends, and I love my boyfriend.

Adorned with Love

When I moved into my apartment (my first very own home) I had big plans for it. It was going to be the coziest, cutest, most comfortable apartment — the apartment everyone wants to visit. And it was going to happen instantly.
            A year later, my plan is far from complete. Our couch and chair do not match. I haven’t replaced the dresser yet. The painting to go over the bed hasn’t been painted yet. And our dining room set? Still waiting for that extra coat of varnish.
            It was silly of me to think that it could go from a stark white apartment to a warm and cozy home in a year’s time. To be honest, nothing is quite how I want it yet, except our Christmas tree. Four-feet tall and adorned with black, silver, and red ornaments and most importantly ... love.

It's perfect.