the deliberate life

#reverb11 Day Four: When Did You Struggle

 

As much as I tried to play it off like it was no big deal, turning 30 was a struggle for me. I jokingly pointed out the gray hairs starting to appear at my hairline and questioned if smile lines were really from smiling or just old age, but I did have a hard time with it.
    When you reach a milestone age, you can’t help but look back and reflect on all that you have and haven’t accomplished. And you can’t help but not feel completely satisfied. At first thought, 30 years is a substantial amount of time on this planet, enough time to do something of substance. But really, I don’t feel like I truly got a grasp on who I am until at least 25, and I still don’t fully know what I want from life. So really, I now feel like life really begins at 30. Once I accepted that, I embraced getting older and am looking forward to what the future brings.

#reverb11 Day Three; What Did You Read?

Books are my passion. My mom, also a book lover, couldn’t wait to teach me how to read. So, at age 3, I was reading Dr. Seuss books to her. My siblings weren’t readers, so we bonded over our love of books, and she took every chance she had to spoil me with them.

                I’ve only come to love reading more with age. My weekly trips to the library are what I look forward to most. Leaving the library, a stack of books in hand, I feel like I have a world of possiblities before me.

                Here’s my biggest regret: I don’t keep track of what I read. In fact, I checked the same book out of the library three times this year. About halfway through the first chapter, I realized I had read this book once or twice before. I’ve signed up for Goodreads, but always forget to log in to mark off my recent read.

                Still, one book has stuck with me throughout the entire year: The Gifts of Imperfection by Brene Brown. I had read I Thought It Was Just Me, but I didn’t connect with it nearly as much as The Gifts of Imperfection. I highlighted pretty much the entire book and often found myself wanting to high-give the book. It’s just … perfect. It was exactly the book I needed to read at the time I read it. It was truly a gift to me, which is exactly what I think a good book should be.

                For 2012, however, I’ve decided to make a commitment to GoodReads. Even if I don’t review books, I want to at least be able to look back at the books I’ve read and loved. Won’t you join me?

#reverb11 Day Two: Who Did You Meet?

Who could forget the infamous friendship bracelets/buddy bands conflict?

I’m not the best at making new friends. My shyness is often misinterpreted. I’ve always admired people who can start up a conversation with anyone about anything. I think my problem is that I think too much. I worry that I’ll say the wrong thing, and so I don’t say anything at all. For years I’ve watched Kevin make friend after friend, wondering how he does it. I’ve come to the conclusion that he doesn’t give it much thought, and so his relationships are easy from the start.

            In 2011, I know I met new people here and there. What I find more significant though is that I finally reached out and truly “met” some of my acquaintances. By this, I mean that I turned them into friends. Perhaps one of the strongest friendships I grew this year came as the result of finding common ground – crafting. The girlfriend of a friend of Kevin’s and I both realized we had the same passion, and just like that a friendship was born.

            It’s been the same with a few other people… people I would see at friends’ houses or Kevin’s work events. I learned that if you just start talking … talking about anything … that the people you are meant to be friends with will start talking back. You just have to break that initial ice.

 For this year's Reverb, I'm using Kaileen Elise's prompts. Feel free to use them, or create your own!

#reverb11 Day 1: Where Did 2011 Begin?

Have you seen a happier group of folks? And does anyone else miss my long hair as much as I do?

Where did 2011 begin? After waiting until the absolute last minute to decide how to celebrate New Year’s Eve, we decided to throw a party with our friends/neighbors. All of it was thrown together in a couple of days, so naturally the planner in me was nervous. What if everyone else already had plans? What if no one else shows up? What if the food doesn’t reflect an overall theme? (Have I mentioned that it’s exhausting being me?)

The night of the party came, and to be honest, not very many people did show up. (Apparently New Year’s is a holiday you plan ahead for. Who knew?) But, one by one, our closest friends arrived, as did those who would later become closet friends. Of course they didn’t make plans. They all knew we’d be spending it together. We donned ridiculous party hats, flower leis, drank champagne, and rang in the new year.  It was by far the most memorable New Year’s Eve to date.

I realize now that it was that particular night that set the stage for the rest of the year. So much of 2011 was about friendship. It was the year that I allowed myself to open up to others and connect with them. It was the year that our group of friends became a true family.

As for New Year's this year? There's no question who I'll be spending it with.

 

For this year's Reverb, I'm using Kaileen Elise's prompts. Feel free to use them, or create your own!