the deliberate life

Oh, Hi.

(a sneak peek of our wedding venue!)

Oh, hi. It’s been nearly three months since I last blogged. 

I’ve been thinking a lot about this little space lately. Should I scrap it and start over? Should I call it quits altogether? Should I just pick up where I left off? Yep, let’s try that one. 

Life, you’ve been crazy lately. My time has been consumed this past year with helping plan my best friend’s bridal shower and bachelorette party, as well as her baby shower. This has resulted in tons of time spent DIYing the hell out of some party decorations. So much cutting. So much folding. So much planning.

But, I do love it.

Once the baby shower was over with I had grand plans of returning to the Internets a bit more, adding to my Etsy shop, and all of that good stuff. Do you know what happened? 

I got engaged.

After 8 years of dating, Kevin proposed to me while on vacation in Portland. While walking around a beautiful park, he grabbed my hand, and the next thing I knew he was down on one knee. It was quiet. It was simple. It was perfect.

I always thought I would react a certain way when/if he proposed. I expected to have a breakdown of epic proportions, complete with a lot of ugly cry. Instead, I stood there in shock, repeatedly asking “Seriously?” The tears came later as I called my parents and grandparents to share the news. And, they still come whenever I think about it for too long.

So, now a wedding is in the works, and life is sure to get even busier. I’m not going to apologize for letting life get in the way. I would much rather be out there living it than holed up at my computer more than I already am. Still, I miss writing about anything and everything. I’ve been feeling the need to express myself more than usual lately, probably because of the insane number of emotions I am experiencing at any given moment.

Will I write regularly? I’m going to try to. Will I try to focus on one main thing? Hardly. I think that’s what’s always stopped me from blogging regularly. I have too many interests, too many things going on at one time to have a central focus, and I think that’s OK. If anything, those interests should serve as inspiration more than a hindrance, and I’m going to keep that in my heart as I slowly settle back into this little space of mine.

I hope life is going well for each and every one of you. 

A Quick DIY Project

Though we do make an effort to eat every meal at home during the week, we love going out to eat when the weekend rolls around. We're lucky to live walking distance from some of our very favorite restaurants, but that also means that we find ourselves at the same two restaurants week after week. Sure, it's nice (or maybe embarrassing), to have staff hug you when you walk in, or ask how many visits it's been so far this week, but one of our favorite things to do is try new places. 

    I saw the idea for creating a "Food Passport" on Pinterest and thought it'd be a great way for us to break our habit. The concept is simple: fill a notebook with different restaurants you'd like to try. When the inevitable "Where should we eat?" debate arises, pull out the notebook and choose somewhere. Easy-peezy project.

    I had carved a fork/spoon/knife stamp for a farmer's market tote, so I thought it'd the perfect thing to stamp on the cover of a blank Moleskine. (Although here, it looks more like a spork than a fork). I then wrote down all the restaurants we've been wanting to eat at inside, leaving room to record what we had. I also plan on stamping the date we visited with a date stamp. If space allows, it'd be great to washi (yep, it's a verb now) a business card or memento from the restaurant to the page. 

I actually have quite a few DIY ideas I've completed that I'll be sharing in the weeks ahead. I decided to decorate our bedroom for the first time ever, which resulted in some fun projects that I'm excited to post on here. Stay tuned! 

What I'm Reading

It’s no secret that I’m a big reader. I’ve always known how much I love reading, but it wasn’t until recently that I realized just how important reading and books are to me. They’re essential to my well-being. Before art, before crafting, books are my true love (other than Kevin, of course).

At the beginning of the year, I set a goal on Goodreads to read 50 books this year. (Side note: Do you use Goodreads? Though I’ve had an account for years, it wasn’t until last year that my love affair with it began.) So far, I’ve read 12 books in 2013, which means I’m on track to meet my goal. Here are a few that have really stood out.

 

When Autumn Leaves by Amy S. Foster I have a soft spot for books with a touch of magic in them. I discovered this when I first began reading books by Sarah Addison Allen, who is known for her style of magical realism style of writing. When Autumn Leaves is just an enchanting book. It's not fine literature, but it made me feel very warm and cozy, and I love that in a book. 

Tell the Wolves I'm Home by Carol Rifka Brunt A complete contrast to When Autumn Leaves, this book will not make you feel warm and cozy. It will make you sad. It will make you cry ugly tears. It will make you say, "Damn, that's a good book." It's the coming-of-age story of an awkward 14-year-oldl girl dealing with losing her uncle to AIDs. Such a haunting story, it's stayed with me for some time now.

An Abundance of Katherines  by John Green I fell in love with John Green after reading The Fault in our Stars (if you haven't read it, you need to) and have been on a mission to read everything by him. This book is lighter than The Fault in our Stars, which deals with children and cancer, but still a wonderful read. It is the story of Colin, a prodigy, who has been dumped 19 times, all by girls named Katherine. Being the prodigy that he is, he figures he can find a mathematical way to predict how successful a relationship will be. This book has laugh-out-loud moments, thanks to John Green's fantastic sense of humor. 

The Book Thief by Markus Zusak This book was recommended to me by countless people. Because everyone loved it so much, I was worried that it wouldn't live up to its hype. Oh, but it did live up to it, and then some. The story is narrated by Death, and tells the story of a girl growing up in Nazi Germany. Again, I cried big, ugly tears (probably partly because the book was over). I couldn't recommend this book more. 

As I continue my quest to reach my goal of 50 books by year's end, I'd love to hear what you're reading! Or, if you've read any of these books, I'd love to hear your thoughts on them! 

 

Thoughts on This Little Space

I’ve been spending a lot of time wondering what to do with this little space of mine. There have been times that I’ve been a prolific blogger, yes, but more often than not, this page is unattended. It’s always been a goal of mine to write here regularly because I really do like to write. That has always been my intention … to write, whether it be a funny little story, a thought I had, or just something I had to get off my chest.

One of the biggest struggles I encountered last year was getting swept away by the online world. The Internet can mess with your identity (literally and figuratively) and give you false priorities. The more I read beauty blogs, the more I thought I needed to be spending most of my earnings on high-end products. The truth? I love makeup, but I hate spending money on it. I’m a proud Wet-n-Wild and E.L.F. wearing girl (though I have recently made the decision to wean myself off of such chemical-filled products and will be replacing my makeup as I run out of what I already have). As I saw running get really popular I thought that I should become a runner too. The truth? There’s probably nothing I hate more in this world than to run. Yes, I desperately need to exercise, but I need to find something that I enjoy doing (ahem, kettlebells!) so that I actually do it. Getting so caught up in what everyone else appeared to be doing made me feel miserable about myself. 

I can go on and on, but you get the idea. I wanted to model my blog after some of those that I admired. Stick to certain themes! It will work, I told myself. It didn’t. Obviously. And it’s no criticism to those who it does work for. I obviously liked it because I attempted to do the same. It just isn’t me. I think we all started our blogs with the hopes of sharing a bit of ourselves with the world … to carve out a tiny little place where we could be ourselves. I think we owe it to ourselves to hold true to that initial hope.

So what does this mean for this space of mine? It means I’ve re-opened a world of possibilities for it. It means I don’t care if the posts are cohesive. I’ll share what I want to share … my art, the food I make, the thoughts I have. It’s time to reclaim my space.

 

A special “thank you” to my dear friend Amy, whose post here inspired this. You continue to be an inspiration to me. 

Monday Currents, on a Tuesday

... Kevin and I are currently absolutely, head-over-heels obsessed with geocaching. Are you familiar with it? You basically use your gps to visit places and find hidden caches. Some might say it's a little nerdy, but we're having the best time doing it. It all started when I looked at Kevin and said, "There's something I want to do, but you might think I'm a little nerdy for wanting to do it." When I told him he said "me too!" We've been going every weekend for a little over a month. It's a great way to get outdoors and get a little exercise. 

... My sister had a baby girl, Livie Joy, last week giving me the grand total (for now) of three nephews and two nieces. I'm loving getting daily Livie updates from my oldest niece and nephew via text message.

... Still mourning being done with "Gone Girl." Holy crap, that was a good book. One of the best I've read in a long time. I can't even describe it properly. You need to pick it up. Trust me.

... Celebrating the launch of my Etsy shop! It wasn't a huge launch with millions of products, but I did it despite having many, many set backs. Now I'm busily working on some new stuff for a shop update this weekend. Don't forget to check it out! ohchristen.etsy.com

... Sitting in my contentedness. Appreciating it. Celebrating it. Relishing in it.

2013-A Few Plans

In my previous post, I mentioned that my word for 2013 was "action." This means acting on goals and dreams. This means putting plans in motion. 

Well, just four days into the New Year and I'm feeling very proud of myself. Two of the biggest items on my 2013 To-Do List are just about done. 

The first is my Etsy Shop. I've been wanting to start one for many, many years now. Each time I thought I was ready I psyched myself out. Finally, after a creative epiphany (as dramatic as that sounds, it's exactly what it is) in October, my Etsy store will be opening tomorrow! Eeek. Here's a little hint of what it will be like:

What will I be selling? Hand lettered and painted Moleskines, original affordable art, and some crocheted goodies - my favorite things! Working on the shop has been such a learning experience, and I know I have so much more to learn. I have so much more respect for all the sellers on there now that I know how much time it takes just to list a single item! It's also making me feel very vulnerable. I'm actually very nervous to hit "open" on the shop tomorrow. What if no one buys anything? What if people think it's crap? But, I have to remember that there are just as many, if not more, positive "what-ifs" than there are negative. What if someone does buy something? What if I connect with someone new? We'll just have to see.

Second, Kevin and I have been wanting to plan a trip to Portland for years now. I'm excited to say that it's finally happening in 2013. We booked our flight and hotel room for June. We'll be celebrating our 8-year anniversary there. 

I feel good (minus the bug I haven't been able to shake for almost two weeks). Really good. 2013, you're already making me happier than 2012. Good on you. 

Thoughts on 2012

All morning I’ve been reading fellow bloggers’ 2012 recaps. I wasn’t planning on writing one, actually. I just wanted for the year to be over so that I could have a chance to start fresh. 2012, for the most part, was a year I’d like to forget. It’s been a hard year for me, perhaps my hardest yet, filled with internal struggles. I had to face certain truths about myself that I wasn’t prepared to face. I’ve had to have conversations I never wanted to have. For a while, I turned into a person I didn’t want to be.

            So, yes, 2012 was a pretty bad year, but I’m starting to see that it’s had the greatest takeaway of any other year. With each bit of darkness came a bit of light. With each truth I faced also came a truth embraced.

            2012 was a year when I felt so completely broken at times, but allowing myself to sit with that broken feeling provided me with a great gift. I learned what my values, my beliefs, and my priorities are. I learned who I am and what I want. So, yes, I suppose I had to do a wrap up of 2012, not just to be able to say goodbye to it, but to thank it for all it taught me.

            And now my mind shifts to 2013 and the direction I’d like for it to take. I thought long and hard about what I wanted my word for the year to be, but the same word kept making itself be heard. Action. That’s it. I talk a lot, I know I do. I have big ideas, big goals, but I just talk about them. I’ve decided that 2013 will be the year to get outside of my own head and turn my thoughts into actions.

            So, I say goodbye to 2012, not with regret or anger, but with appreciation. Thank you for the lessons you taught me.

            2013, I’m ready for you. 

Currently ...

... After finishing up "Divergent," I realized I've been reading a LOT of fluff lately.  The literature lover in me has been feeling guilty about that, so I'm going to read a few classics that I'm almost ashamed to admit I haven't read yet. First up, "Animal Farm." 

... I've been plugging away at building up inventory for my Etsy shop! I've got products, people. Real, live products! My first attempt at selling them will be at a craft fair on December 1st. Everything left over will then be photographed and listed! Eeee! The picture here is a little sneak peek!

... Now that I'm on the mend after a quick, but rough, bout with a cold/flu/I don't even know I want to take more steps to take better care of myself. (That explains why Monday's post is actually happening on Wednesday.)

... I'm feeling content. More than I have in a long time. I'm feeling very thankful these days.

Words, Words, Words

- Henry David Thoreau

Currently ...

... returning "The Night Circus" to the library. I don't know, guys. I had a love/hate relationship with it. The parts that were good were SO good, but there were some "blah" parts as well. What'd you all think? 

... making progress on my granny square afghan. This afghan is huge (queen size), and I've gotten further on it than any of my other afghan attempts. I'm pretty proud.

... setting plans in motion to finally open an Etsy shop. I'm trying to combine all of my various loves ... tattoos, books, journals, dainty things ... to make products I really love and would use myself. Stay tuned!

... stepping back in to domesticity. As I mentioned in my previous post, my heart is absolutely tied to my home, and I feel at peace when I spend my time there. 

... looking forward to participating in "A Book of Lists" with Kerri and Kathleen. You can find out more about this project here: http://kapachino.info/2012/11/introducing-book-of-lists/

......

Because I'm trying to get back into the habit of blogging, I thought it'd be great to have a few recurring topics each week ... just in case I feel like I have nothing to write about. Mondays are hard for me, because it takes me a while to fall back into the craziness of my week days. That's why I thought listing current happenings would be a great way to slowly come up to speed.